Christmas Secrets: Levi & Katie (Longing Book 1) Page 3

  Speaking of Kevin…

  “What’s up little sister?!” Kevin’s voice boomed in the open space of the entryway as he led his children and Katie’s dog, Bruce, into the condo.

  Levi’s eyes widened as he took in the scene. He knew how many children Kevin and Cassie had. He’d been by their home many times and had been attacked by their rambunctious children more than once. Okay, maybe attacked wasn’t the right word. The kids called it playing but Levi called it having the boys wrestle him, pulling on his hair and accidentally kneeing him in the balls, and having the girls tug on his fingers to go and play dolls or tea party or have him pretend to be a monster and chase them around the house or yard. Having progeny sure seemed to be exhausting, at least that was Levi’s point of view from his numerous interactions with his godchildren.

  Bet you wouldn’t feel that way if the children belonged to you and Katie, his inner bullshit meter spoke up in his mind. Levi wanted to scoff at the very idea that he would feel any different if he was a father and the kids belonged to him and Katie, but he would never lie to himself. At least, not about something like that.

  “Levi! Man, what are you doing here?” Kevin asked after hugging Katie and walking over to embrace Levi in a “bro-hug.” Two pats on the back with one hand, groins apart, and with their other hands clenched in handshake.

  “Oh, you know,” Levi shrugged. He opened his mouth to tell Kevin everything but saw Katie shaking her head frantically and pleading for him to keep quiet with her eyes. He gave her the barest of nods and looked back at his best friend. “Just thought I would check up on Katie-bug, here. It’s been a minute since I last saw her.”

  Kevin nodded. “Yeah, the Brass has you working nonstop. It seems as if every time I return to the office, they’re sending you out on another case. Or you’re just coming back from one.”

  “Well, we don’t all have a gorgeous wife and five children waiting for us at home, you know? I mean, I don’t even have a pet I need to worry about,” Levi chuckled. He hoped that his best friend couldn’t hear the longing in his tone, or the loneliness in his words. When he’d first began working for the FBI, he’d been excited about the opportunities it afforded him. He’d also been excited about the different cases he would be able to work and hopefully solve. He’d wanted to make the world, the country, a safer place for everyone. Especially for those he knew and loved. But after a few years at the Bureau, Levi had begun to realize how… boring and empty his life was outside of work. He had no one who would be concerned about him if he died.

  His parents hadn’t really been active or involved in his life when he’d been younger. As a matter of fact, they’d been downright neglectful and abusive. It was why he’d spent so much time over at the Faulk home. When their abusive tendencies had them turning on each other, resulting in a murder-suicide, a then twenty-two year old Levi had been… relieved. He’d felt awful for feeling that way, they had been his parents after all, but to no longer have to break up fights between them, to no longer have to worry that they would one day return their ire and hatred towards him as they had when he was a child. To be free of being responsible for the two of them had been a burdened that had been lifted from his shoulders.

  It had also made him long for a family of his own. Though that was something he struggled with keeping hidden from everyone. Even himself.

  “Oh, Levi, that is quite possibly the saddest thing I have ever heard in my entire life,” Cassie said as she held her youngest daughter in her arms. “And it’s six children. Not five.”

  Levi’s mouth dropped open and he watched the surprise cross Katie’s face.

  “You’re pregnant?” Katie asked in wonder.

  Levi looked over at Kevin who grinned at him proudly. “Whoa man! You did it again? I thought you said you were stopping at five?”

  Kevin shrugged. “What can I say? My wife is hot all the time, especially when she’s pregnant. I want to put as much of our amazing mixture of genes out into the world as she will let me.”

  Levi scrunched up his face in disgust and shook his head. “What a disgusting visual, man.”

  “I agree,” Katie said with a smile.

  “So do I,” Cassie responded, rolling her eyes.

  “Hey! I’m talking about you and me baby. We make some beautiful, talented, intelligent children,” Kevin murmured as he gathered Cassie in his arms, his palm settling over her stomach, which had the smallest of bumps ever. Levi wasn’t sure if she was showing now, or if it was just Cassie’s normal figure. She’d been pregnant so much over the years, Levi wasn’t sure he could remember her body without a baby in it or having just come out of it.

  And you probably shouldn’t be thinking about that anyway, his subconscious reminded him.

  Levi acknowledged the truth of that statement and turned his focus to Katie. She stood mere feet away from her brother and her best friend, who were kissing each other lovingly and softly, their youngest daughter—Levi’s namesake, Levia—falling asleep on her mother’s shoulder. Levi walked over to the couple and plucked his goddaughter from Cassie’s arms. She pulled away from Kevin and blinked up at him.

  “Levi? Why are you taking my child?” she asked, cuddling up closer to Kevin.

  Levi gestured at her and Kevin with one hand as balanced Levia against his chest with the other.

  “Because of that. You two can’t keep your hands off each other and I’m not going to let you drop my goddaughter because you’re still in love,” Levi said with a mock frown.

  “I know right? Disgusting,” Katie shook her head with a smile on her face.

  Kevin chuckled, and Cassie huffed in annoyance. “Whatever. You know you two could have this too if you would just—”

  “Find someone to be with for the long-term instead of only looking for short-term fixes to your problems,” Kevin interrupted his wife, giving her a pointed look.

  Levi frowned then looked over at Katie. She looked just as confused as he felt. She shrugged when she returned his gaze, then went back to looking at her brother and friend.

  “What’s up with you married people, or you happy-in-love couples? It’s like you’re miserable and you won’t be happy until we’re all as miserably in love as you are.”

  Cassie laughed and shook her head. “We are not miserable, and we don’t want you to join in our misery. It’s just that we know how happy and full our lives are now that we have each other, and we want that same thing for those we love. Those we know. We want that same feeling of partnership, closeness, connection, of…” she whirled her hand around in the air, snapping her fingers after a moment.

  “Of wholeness,” Kevin supplied, and Cassie nodded and patted him on the chest. “And we’re not saying you can’t be whole alone. As a matter of fact we encourage it. But it’s like… Katie, it’s like we’re all walking around as shoes, you know?”

  “Shoes?” Levi and Katie simultaneously echoed in confusion.

  Kevin bobbed his head. “Yeah, shoes. Some people are heels, some are boots, some are flip-flops, some are sneakers… some of us only have our heel. Some of us are a little more completed, but all of us are shoes. And yes, you can exist as a fully formed, completed shoe. Whole, with your colors, your design, the heel, the sole, the insole, the tongue, the straps, etcetera. And you can even walk through life and accomplish a lot with that one shoe. But there’s something about meeting the other shoe that matches you. That makes you a complete set. That makes you a pair. It’s fulfilling.”

  Levi narrowed his eyes at his best friend then looked over at Katie. While Kevin’s analogy was crap, Levi understood what he was trying to say. He always felt… whole when he was around Katie. As if he’d met his other half. And while he couldn’t tell her that, it was nice to live I the reality of that truth.

  It didn’t mean he wouldn’t give Kevin shit for his example though.

  “Dude, I know you were trying to be deep or whatnot, but what you said was complete crap. All of this love, romance, and having
children almost every year, has gone to your brain,” he said with a laugh. He was happy when his teasing was met with amusement by all of the other adults in the room, even the kids who he was sure had no idea what was going on.

  So why did Katie’s smile dropping from her face so quickly concern him so much?

  Chapter Five

  I wonder if that’s how Levi really feels about love and relationships? Katie wondered to herself as she and Cassie walked into the kitchen to make lunch for the kids.

  What does it matter if he thinks that way or not? It’s not like you ever had a chance with him. No matter what he’d been about to say earlier.

  “So, what the hell is going on with you two?” Cassie asked as she opened Katie’s refrigerator and pulled out the ingredients to make sandwiches. Katie looked over at Cassie trying to feign ignorance, but she could tell from the stern expression on her best friend’s face that she wasn’t buying it.

  In for a penny, in for a pound.

  “What are you talking about? What two?” she asked, turning away from Cassie and opening her cabinets to pull down the plastic cups she’d bought just for when her nieces and nephews visited.

  She heard Cassie scoff behind her but chose not to turn around. Instead Katie set about making sure she’d gotten down the plastic plates, bowls, and cloth napkins. She smiled as she noted the initials on different plates, bowls, and napkins. She knew she spoiled her brother’s kids, but she didn’t have anyone to spoil besides Bruce, so she indulged—and sometimes went overboard—when it came to the children in her life.

  “You can’t avoid looking at me forever,” Cassie said from just behind Katie’s left shoulder.

  Katie jumped slightly and let out a small squeak. Turning around, she blushed as she saw Cassie standing there with her hands on her hips. Katie gave her sister-in-law a small smile and shrugged.

  “It’s nothing Cassie,” she stated, waving her hand in an offhanded manner.

  Cassie rolled her eyes. “It’s not nothing Katie. I saw how close the two of you were when I walked in. You looked as if you were about to kiss or something.”

  “We weren’t about to kiss, Cass! Jesus Christ.” Katie huffed, her own hands rising to her hips. She lowered her head and stared at the black and white tile floor of her kitchen. Memories of the conversation she’d been having with Levi came flashing back through her mind. A part of her was grateful, relieved even, that Cassie had interrupted them. Katie wasn’t sure exactly what Levi was about to say to her next, but whatever it was, with the stern and serious expression he’d had on his face, she wasn’t entirely sure that it was a good thing.

  I don’t think I can take any more heartbreak or rejection from him.

  “So, what the fuck was going on when I came in, Kate?” Cassie asked, using a swear word that Katie didn’t often hear from her. Cassie had stopped swearing as much as she had when they were younger once she started having kids. For the most part that habit had rubbed off on Katie, though whenever Kevin, Cassie, and the kids weren’t around she cursed as much as she could. As if she were preparing herself for the times she wouldn’t be able to around them.

  “Cassie!” Katie gasped.

  “Don’t you “Cassie!” me,” Cassie mocked friendly. She shook her head. “I have let you get away for far too long without talking about this. Texting or emailing about it so often isn’t the same as laying all the cards on the table, Kate. You can’t lie to me so easy when you’re looking me in my eyes. Now, what’s going on with you and Levi?”

  Katie sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. She knew that Cassie was serious and not playing around with her anymore. Cassie only ever called her “Kate” when she was trying to inject sincerity in their conversations. Katie used “Cass” to do the same thing.

  “Levi is here because apparently I have been heard on some FBI chatter in connection to a drug cartel. I did some work for the girlfriends of one of the head dealers and they’ve supposedly been discussing me as if they want to have me on their payroll.” She sighed when she heard Cassie gasp. Nodding, she continued. “So, I think he initially came over to make sure I wasn’t actually involved. Then he wanted to make sure that I wouldn’t get involved. And finally, he wanted to stick around to protect me.” Katie lifted her head to stare at her best friend. “That’s all that happened, Cass. I promise.”

  Cassie narrowed her eyes at Katie for a long moment before she nodded. “So, you haven’t told him then?”

  Katie sighed and shook her head. “Why would I do that, Cass? You know how he feels even more than I do. You and Kev hang out with him more me, and I’m sure you’ve heard him and my brother talk about me before. Even if that wasn’t true, I’ve told you what I’ve overheard him and Kevin say when it comes to me.” She nibbled her bottom lip. “It doesn’t make a difference how I feel or what I say, nothing’s ever going to change.”

  Cassie blew out a long breath and pressed her hand against her belly. Katie stepped toward the other woman, concerned, but stopped when Cassie merely lifted her hand.

  “Morning sickness, that’s all. I’ll be fine. Just give me a minute,” she muttered. Katie nodded but still watched Cassie closely. While Cassie would never say anything to Kevin, Katie knew what the doctor had told the stubborn woman the last time she’d gone in for a checkup. Cassie’s body was taking a toll with each child that she had. The doctors were concerned about what she was putting her body through and had warned her that if she got pregnant again, she would be in danger of being put on bedrest, or something even worse.

  “Did you tell Kevin?” Katie asked.

  Cassie lifted her head and stared at her unblinking. “Why would I do that, Katie? I’m fine. This baby is fine. Everything is fine.”

  Katie sighed and stepped close to Cassie. “You know as well as I do what that doctor told you.”

  Cassie reached out and held Katie’s hand. “And you know just as I do that doctors will tell you anything and everything to make you scared and have you asking for medication, or asking to be admitted, or some other such nonsense. I’m fine, Katie-Bug,” Cassie said with a grin and a wink. “Besides, don’t think I forgot what we were talking about just because this child decided to torment Mommy.” She wagged a finger in Katie’s face. “I do know all about Kevin and Levi’s pact when it comes to you. I also know what Levi has told your brother, versus what he’s told me.”

  Katie felt surprise surge through her and she opened her mouth to ask Cassie what Levi had said to her, but Cassie’s finger on her lips cut her off.

  “And no, I’m not telling you. I made a promise. But I will tell you this: you need to talk to him. As soon as possible. Believe me, you won’t regret it.” She gave Katie a slow smiled. “Maybe at your company’s Christmas party tonight? I mean, you said he’s going to protect you from this idiot drug dealer, right?”

  Katie nodded, and Cassie laughed, clapping her hands in excitement.

  “Perfect. Tell him tonight. I know your lives will never be the same when you do.”

  Chapter Six

  “Perfect. Tell him tonight. I know your lives will never be the same when you do.”

  Levi stepped away from the kitchen and returned to the living room where Kevin was finishing up a call with his supervisor while simultaneously changing Levia’s diaper. Levi stood just inside of the room with admiration rushing through his body. He could remember a time when Kevin could barely be bothered to clean up his room, and yet, there he was. A father, an agent, a husband with a very successful wife, and he was not only cleaning up after himself, but after his five children as well.

  “Dude, why the fuck are you standing there leering at me like you want to do me or something?” Kevin asked without looking up at him.

  “Do me! Do me! Do me!” Kevin’s four-year-old son, Devon, chanted as he bounced around the room. Kevin groaned and rubbed his forehead with the hand that held the baby wipe. Levi gagged, but reached down and scooped Devon up into his arms.

  “
Hey Little Man, don’t say that, okay?” he instructed the little caramel-skinned toned boy, with the bright almost golden eyes, with tiny flecks of blue inside of them. Devon’s hair was a mixture of dark brown and golden highlights due to the sunlight. All of Kevin and Cassie’s children had curly, dirty blond hair, with various shades of brown and blond throughout, but Devon was the only one who looked as if his hair had been dyed that way.

  “Why not?” Devon pouted, folding his tiny, thin arms across his chest.

  “Because your mother will kill me if she hears you saying that,” Kevin muttered as he grabbed another baby wipe—this one clean and wiped his face, before finishing up with Levia and his supervisor, whom he’d put on hold.

  Devon gasped and looked at Levi as if seeking confirmation, trying not to laugh at the expression of pure horror and fear that covered the toddler’s face, Levi nodded. “That’s right, buddy. You don’t want to get Daddy in trouble do you?” he asked.

  Devon shook his head quickly and firmly, causing his entire body to move with the motion. Levi held on a little tighter to the squirming little boy and hummed in agreement.

  “Exactly. So, you have to make sure you don’t say that any more okay?” Levi pointed out.

  “Make sure he doesn’t say what?” Cassie’s voice coming from behind him caused Levi to freeze in place. He shared a glance with Kevin who put on the very smile he’d used to disarm Cassie the first time they met.

  “Oh, please Kev. You can stop it with the smile. It stopped working on me after the twins,” she said with a chuckle.

  “Are you sure about that?” Kevin asked, as he stood up and walked over to Cassie with a swagger.